Tuesday, November 9, 2010

"Impression without expression leads to depression..."

I keep coming back to why I don't like this whole blog thing. I think most of the time I'm afraid I'll turn into one of those people that think what they have to say is super profound and that's why they need to carry around a mole skin notebook to jot down all their important thoughts throughout the day. And who do I think I freaking am to offer anything of worth. But then I rebuke my cynicism that prevent me from doing anything and say screw it. I think if I'm going to express something to the world it's going to have to be edited, perfect, and polished for me to write it. I realize how often I do that with people. I want to present myself in a way that is acceptable to all and that's why I live in so much of privateness and pride.

It's scary to let yourself be known. What if people won't actually like me once they know me. Or how quickly do I let myself be known. I mean there is a healthy evolving of when you let people see more and more of you. You don't just give people all your thoughts at once here. That would be weird. I'm thinking though I need to express more of my impressions even if they are stupid and overly analyzed. For some reason when I write it out even into cyber world I feel braver. I like the idea of noticing how futile my thoughts are when I write them down, but how much power there is in speaking of the impressions given by the very Words of God. It takes my futile thoughts and turns them into thoughts that are worthwhile, powerful, profitable, enduring. What an incredible honor to be able to communicate Words that literally have the power to resurrect, mold, cut through the life of a human being.

I think I wrote a post similar to this earlier, voicing my insecurities of writing on a blog, but I guess I just need a little more of a boost. I am seeing how I need more and more to be expressing what God has done, what He is teaching me, what I hope to see in order to scuffle out the depression that sets and concretes down into my feet. I need to constantly be expressing and releasing all that He is to me. I lack so much courage to do that with people and fear being misunderstood, or not being able to communicate clearly. Maybe this will help to boldly proclaim after gaining confidence in writing out my thoughts. I do think I need to be writing more.

Thank you Cyber world for listening.

"The Lord is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness, and he will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is Zion's treasure." Is 33:5-6

I love the word "dwell." It is such a deep-rooted, long-suffering, slow etching kind of word. To think of the Lord dwelling. And to know we can dwell as well. Later in the chapter it says...

"the people who dwell there will be forgiven their iniquity." v 24b

It starts with describing a literal dwelling place on earth that is filled with tumultuous noise, nations scattering, spoil, highways of waste. It is a land that mourns and languishes. But there will be a time when the Lord will arise, will lift himself up, and will be exalted. Soon the people of God will see Jerusalem, an untroubled habitation, an immovable tent. And the people who dwell there will be forgiven their iniquity.

Has that time already come? Has it come and is continuing to come? Do we have the first, beginning fruits of the Spirit of God upon us?

How beautiful and incomprehensible it is to think that we have the privilege to dwell in the presence of God? Today I choose where I dwell. I choose where my heart, mind, and soul dwells. I choose what I set my affections on. He is the stability of our times.

I love what happens when I dwell on the Lord removing all iniquity from me. Pulling every bit of offensiveness, evil intention, slanderousness out of me, away from me and purifying my entire being. He exchanges my iniquity for the perfection, beauty, righteousness of His Son. Dwelling on this truth will never get old to me. It only gets newer over time. Do not forget. Remember. Give testimony.

Thank You Lord. You are New.

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