This isn't polished. It's not even chiseled.
Can we mistake a calling from God and then find ourselves screwed because of a wrong interpretation of His will? Is it that we didn't pray enough to begin with or that we lack personal responsibility for our decisions?
Is it WWJD or what would Jesus have me do in the present life he has me in knowing the things I know, living in the city I do, with the privileges I have? Why don't we replicate every Biblical experience we read? If I want to be like Paul do I have to be thrown in jail to fully get it? Am I missing it if I don't die nailed to the cross? How do we decide what is normative and what is unique for the time being? Can we even evaluate experiences as being good or bad? Parables aren't real experiences but they're true. What's the difference between real and true?
These thoughts spurred on from Dr. Kreider's take on the books "Surprised by the voice of God: how God speaks today through dreams, visions, and prophecies" by Deere and "Models of Revelation" by Dulles.
I needed to write these out, before I forget and somehow it releases tensions and agitations of not understanding. If you read this, indulge me. I could use the help.
What if I find myself in another country, in a relationship, down a narrow path and wake up one day and realize I was just mistaken of God's leading me to that place in the first place and so I leave? How terrifying is that? What can we truly rely on that is consistent? Deere goes so far to say even Scripture can be trumped by visions. Woah. But, what of Peter who had been told by God in Scripture to not eat unclean animals and then in a vision is given a tent of unclean animals and told to eat. Ok so now it's ok because of the extension of promises that are fulfilling Scriptures. I understand the picture falls under the expansion of promises to the Gentiles, unclean to Jews, and it's all about the bigger picture of God's plan of redemption. But, unsettling kind of. Can anyone claim a vision to trump what appears to be contradictory to the Word of God? What do we mean when we say Scripture is complete, sufficient, authority?
This is bothering me because it keeps coming up in conversation. "The Lord led me to this. I am going to follow his calling." 3 months later. "Nevermind, I'm not going to follow-through with this, his calling has changed." What is this? Initial wrong interpretations, blame, lack of responsibility, flakiness, God's ambiguity, or a legitimate claim?
How do I decide the truthfulness of an experience if sometimes experiences are real, but not true or true, but not real? I remember the time a wise mentor laid into me after I led a group conflict and I decided it resolved well because people aired out their dirty laundry, tears and hugs happened, and we finally ended it. He on the other hand thought differently. How did I know it was good? We didn't even follow-through with our beginning goal of coming up with a discipline for our group. What if I was actually deceived into believing it ended well just because there were tears when really nothing was accomplished and let it go on for way too long? What if I led that whole experience poorly and stirred up a hornet's nest with no means of handling it once they start to swarm and sting?
I don't understand.
