For from him and through him and for him are all things.

Lo showed me this video last night and it is mesmerizing.  I'm still trying to figure out how to communicate what this does to my soul. All things were created through him and for him. For in him we live and move and have our being. It does something profound to me. It makes me hunger for the depths of a Creator who creates in mystery, leaving certain longings in me unfulfilled. Sigur makes me want more of God.

 

Evangelism

One of these days, I'm going to fully unpack this word. I'd like to compare this concept across religions, organizations, and businesses.

But this is just a jump start post to a group conversation I had earlier this week.
Leader: What counts in sharing the gospel? Is it the EE questions [If you died tonight where would you go? And Why should God let you into heaven?] Is it pulling the trigger and confronting someone to say Yes or No to Jesus? Is it talking about God and spirituality? What counts? I need to know so I can meet my share the gospel 3 times quota and I need something to measure if other people really did it or not.
Me: (internal conversation: Why the *** does that matter?) Then I found myself getting angry to the point that I couldn't speak what I was feeling. I started to tap my foot and almost left the room.

Where did this anger come from? Why was I and still am so angry when I heard that? Why is it when Christians speak on having to share the gospel they feel tired and obligated with just the thought? Are we communicating have to or get tos? Are there times though that obedience is not enjoyable, but actually more of a have to? Or should the commands of Christ not ever be burdensome? Why are so many Christians so tired, borderline bitter, secretive and not that enjoyable to be around? Are we missing something or is that what suffering looks like and everyone just needs to sip their cup and keep going?

that hurts

I'm just going to get this one started and then come back to it later. [I should be working on my paper write now, but have too much in my head so I'm dumping some out] How much of the decisions we make or don't make as leaders of the church are made because of hurt feelings? The reports we send and don't send, the people we ask for help from and those we don't, the programs we set up or can-how much of that has to do with feelings? And what are the things our feelings are hurt over the most? It seems like it has to do with anything that we attach as ours. Women's ministry is mine. Prayer ministry is mine. Men's ministry is mine. If you say something against this ministry or worse you don't say anything about it at all-that's the same as if you were to do it to me. That hurts my feelings. Is there an extent to where we can over-identify with what we do? When do you cross the line of "taking ownership." Should our identities be based at all on our performance, ministries, occupations? It seems like the things we do, where we work, what our titles are, etc change so frequently that that would be really rocky for an identity to handle. If our identities, our cores, are so tightly inter-connected to the ministries we lead then we're going to experience a lot of unnecessary ups and downs, hurt, and frustration.

We live by encouragement. And without it we die slowly, sadly, angrily.

Life According to Luther

This life, therefore, is not righteousness
but growth in righteousness;
not health, but healing,
not being, but becoming,
not rest, but exercise.
We are not yet what we should be
but what we are all growing toward.
The process is not yet finished
but it is going on.
This is not the end, but it is the road.
All does not yet gleam in glory
but all is being purified.
---Martin Luther

I'm coming home.

she's been to the sea and she's been more than free,
giving in to the tides' beckonings. And yet sensations flow--
the only kind of flow that comes from being fully known,
drowning all the screams of the poor yet proud drunkards
telling lies to the one who knew before I even told.

drink until wrongs seem right and pleasures laugh without authority,
speaking sweet nothings to willow trees who sacrificially give
toward your feeble efforts of saving a blanketed humanity.

i want to branch out into an almond tree
spreading seeds begging to die-
for a living comes from joyful deaths,
leaving remnants worth the traders' purchase.

markets bust with merchants bringing almonds raw from rooted trees.
Plant me near streams drawn to windy storms crying-

mercy please

mercy please

mercy, please, don't leave me.

Mercy came and mercy made even your strongest of men seem broken and tame.
what beautiful maidens dance when young men hold,
in disbelief that even the wildest of hearts
could bend into a love so divine and kind.

Pick me up into you for I fear infidelities will run their course
and I will be exposed with hidden whores locked behind rotting doors.

Back to work you lazy man, back to crunching in and punching out.
Back to weary men chasing empty criminals of their souls.
demanding you mask a faith that silences honest doubts.

I'm coming home to the almond tree sitting innocently at your door,
pleading, "let me in,
let me in,
let me grow from within all your open sores."

black coffee starts smooth

Ted knew how to load the gun and change his socks.
Coffee was a luxury that knew him not.

She took her boys to school each morning, everyday.
Lunches made with cookies at home, milk on the way.

life is good when gods bow ritually to me.
time is up, but you have more to say.

It costs to make me one with you.
I'd rather be wronged than cheated by you.

Mine grinds, yours divides.
Divides the Divine from Mine.

Throw yourself into Pike's Place,
Spending pleasures that suck your holes clean.

It's good to listen to what you haven't said.
It's good to be the god you say gives me your way.

Cursed are the blessed, blessed is the curse.
simply open up your filthy, filthy, purse.

she's waiting for you there.

Psalm 56

"it is no small thing for the God of the universe to be for you"